Editor’s Note: April is the Month Of The Military Child and upon reaching Iraq, Ben met with CPT Heather Guck, TF Marne PAO- Plans, USD-N who has sent us a series of op-ed pieces related to the special nature of military children. We are happy to reprint these articles to help everyone understand the soldier’s story a little better. Enjoy.

Military Kids are Awesome

Since April is the Month of the Military Child I would like to highlight the wonderful attributes of military kids and the unique dynamics of being a child of a U.S. Soldier.  With the following example I hope to convey the importance of military kids on our national psyche and the value of recognizing these great ‘Warriors’ of our nation.

Whereas my wife and I grew up in the small town of Weatherford, Texas, having the same friends and attending the same church throughout our adolescence, my two boys have lived in towns named Columbia, San Antonio, Fayetteville, and Fort Meade.  This dynamic is a blessing…and a challenge.  On one hand, there are the blessings of new experiences and friendships; on the other hand, there are the challenges of saying goodbye to recently acquired friends and packing up yet again for a new base and school.  On one hand they have experienced the continuity of the Church universal and the loving Spirit of fellow Christians from ‘sea to shining sea’; on the other hand though they have experienced the challenges of living and going to school with others who believe and act much differently than they do.

 ‘Army Brats’ to the core, they have mastered the challenges and dynamics of the military culture and lifestyle.  For example, since coming on active duty eleven years ago, they have moved to eight different military bases throughout the United States and each time my children have made new friends, continued to excel at their respective new schools and supported each other by being each other’s best friend. They have acquired a maturity and resolve not often found in others their age.  Yet at the same time, they don’t have the advantages of a trusted friend built up over years nor the physical presence of their loving extended family of grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. So we come home to Texas as much as we can!

Thus, “Why Should Communities all Across America Recognize the Month of the Military Child?”  Because as military personnel deploy in harm’s way protecting the freedoms of Americans, they leave behind their families, to include their children.  My two boys have endured three twelve-month deployments where they didn’t have their Daddy to play with, to talk to face-to-face, or even be ‘yelled at’ (smile) .The military child didn’t choose the life of sacrifice, service or change; but they do choose how they will react and thrive in that dynamic.  That is one of the many reasons why military kids are special.

What hurdles have my kids faced since I came on active duty?  I’ve been deployed 30% of my 10-year old son’s life.  That is a long time to be without a daddy. In addition, my children, like many other military kids, have to live with the possibility that daddy might get killed while at war.  Hurdles and challenges like these make military kids super special.

So the next time you meet a military kid tell them, “Thank you!” and express your gratitude and appreciation for the life they lead in order for their parents to serve our nation.

Major Bill Killough is the Deputy United States Division- North Chaplain for the 3rd Infantry Division, currently deployed in northern Iraq.  Chaplain Killough and his wife, Holly, grew up in Weatherford, Texas and currently reside at Fort Stewart, Georgia with their two boys, Thomas and John. The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not reflect the official policy or position of the Department of the Army, Department of Defense, or the U.S. Government.

Editor’s Note: April is the Month Of The Military Child and upon reaching Iraq, Ben met with CPT Heather Guck, TF Marne PAO- Plans, USD-N who has sent us a series of op-ed pieces related to the special nature of military children. We are happy to reprint these articles to help everyone understand the soldier’s story a little better. Enjoy.

I have a family portrait on three of the four walls in my room in Iraq. A jingle bell colored by my 3-year-old and a card from my 6-year-old that says, “I love you dad very much. You are the best dad ever.”  This card means a lot.  She’s the one that refused to give me a farewell hug at the airport, when I left for my first deployment.

In the current operating environment, I’m fortunate to only be on my second deployment.  When I compare my service to others, I recognize there are many brave men and women who’ve made sacrifices that far exceed mine.  They’ve worked to secure and maintain the freedoms I enjoy, the same ones I want my children to enjoy.  It’s for that reason that I serve.

My wife is my life partner and we’ll “celebrate,” or rather acknowledge our 15 year anniversary this year.  She sells real estate full-time and cares for our four children, Taylor 12, Colten 10, Kennady 7 and Addison 3.  She runs them to a private Christian school every morning, picks them up every afternoon and somehow ensures Taylor gets to track and Colten gets to baseball in between house showings.  Since I left, the dog ate a hole in the kitchen drywall, the kids over filled the hot tub damaging the downstairs ceiling, the yard has weeds and my neighbor Dave generously cleared over 50 inches of snow from my driveway this winter.

These adult issues dominate our conversations.  There’s enough time for highlights, but I don’t really know how my kids are doing inside.   When I talk to them, the conversation focuses on sports, school and behavior.  Just like I put up an emotional barrier, they develop coping mechanisms that help them get through the deployment. 

When a Soldier deploys it affects the whole family.  I don’t know the total “cost” this deployment will have on my family.  Society recognizes there is a cost and many people are quick to shed a tear, shake a hand or share a smile in honor of my service.  I’m grateful and will always return a warm thanks.   What goes overlooked is that my wife and kids sacrifice the same valuable resource I do – time. 

April is the month of the military child and I want to recognize my kids.  I want my kids to know that I realize they’ve sacrificed a large portion of their young lives to support the work of maintaining America’s freedom…and I’m grateful.   I want them to know that even though they stand shorter than most men and women in uniform – their love for their country is measured by their heart not their height.

In my absence, my wife continues our noble responsibility of raising four grateful, God-fearing Americans.  She teaches them to honor their father’s service – a lesson my World War II veteran grandfather taught my mother, which my mother instilled in me and which I hope my children carry on. 

During the few days left in April, my hope is that Americans will recognize military children and their support for Soldiers.  My kids represent four of them and I am extremely grateful for their sacrifice.

Captain Tim Mills is the commander of the 135^th Mobile Public Affairs Detachment, Iowa Army National Guard, currently serving at Contingency Operating Base Speicher near Tikrit, Iraq.  Capt. Mills grew up in the Des Moines area and continues to raise his family there.  The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not reflect the official policy or position of the Department of the Army, Department of Defense, or the U.S. Government.

Editor’s Note: April is the Month Of The Military Child and upon reaching Iraq, Ben met with CPT Heather Guck, TF Marne PAO- Plans, USD-N who has sent us a series of op-ed pieces related to the special nature of military children. We are happy to reprint these articles to help everyone understand the soldier’s story a little better. Enjoy.

Calendar, Just a Place to Put an “X”

Today’s societal challenges usually mean that children grow up in a different environment than what their parents were exposed to.  I am not talking about all the external influences, rather the simple pleasure of having a parent available to put you on the bus, meet you when you get off the bus, and spend the afternoon with you doing whatever activities fill the calendar.  Fast-paced agendas and busy schedules have replaced family time and group activities.  While this almost seems normal, it is especially difficult for a small percentage of our population.

April is Month of the Military Child.  Both my wife and I come from families with many veterans, but neither of us were military brats.  Our fathers were out of the service by the time we were born.  For us, as much as possible, we experienced a rather normal childhood.  Other than an occasional work emergency or school meeting, my parents were both around to shuttle my sister, brother, and I to our various after-school engagements.  With my children, like so many other military families, at least one parent is either deployed, or getting ready to deploy, to a country far from home.  My kids are eight and five, and I am currently spending my 35th month in Iraq. 

While it is easy to feel sorry for my kids, unfortunately, they see it as an ordinary part of life.  At their young age, they perceive the normalcy in daddy going to Iraq for a year or so, because that is part of his job.  The strength, independence, and mental tenacity they develop cause them to mature much sooner than we all would like.  This same maturity strengthens their resolve and assists in coping and understanding.  I can remember being upset if my dad was not able to make it to one of my games, yet when I missed 15 months of my daughter’s activities, she just said, “It’s OK daddy, I know you were in Iraq helping all those other people.”

When the kids were younger, time really did not have much meaning.  To them, a week, a month, and a year were all about the same – a long time.  Until they learned how long a year really is, the calendar was just a place to put a “X” over each day daddy was gone.  Time stamps were measured in major events, such as “I won’t be here for your birthday party this year, but I should be home in time for your party next year.”

So, when you see a tired, sad, distant parent, and their children have on shirts that say, “My dad is in Iraq,” make sure you take the time to thank them.  I do not mean thank them for what we are doing over here, but thank the children for being strong and powering through the situations they have no control over and the overpowering emotions their young minds just can not comprehend.

Chief Warrant Officer 3 Stash Burke is a Division Targeting Officer for the 3rd Infantry Division, currently deployed in northern Iraq.  Mr. Burke grew up in Webster and currently resides in Hinesville, Georgia, with his wife and two children, Sydney and Seth.  The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not reflect the official policy or position of the Department of the Army, Department of Defense, or the U.S. Government.

Editor’s Note: April is the Month Of The Military Child and upon reaching Iraq, Ben met with CPT Heather Guck, TF Marne PAO- Plans, USD-N who has sent us a series of op-ed pieces related to the special nature of military children. We are happy to reprint these articles to help everyone understand the soldier’s story a little better. Enjoy.

Since September 11th, 2001, our nation has been at war.  Hundreds of thousands of servicemen and women have served, and are serving, overseas.  The support given them has been spectacular as the nation has repeatedly shown its appreciation for their sacrifices.  However, an often overlooked participant in the wars is the family of each servicemember, particularly children.  They sacrifice as well while their mom or dad is overseas.  April is the Month of the Military Child, so I would like to talk about the sacrifices military children make every day.

According to the Defense Department, there are 1.7 million children with a parent serving in the military, with 900,000 of them having one or both parents deployed multiple times.  I am one of those parents.  I served in Iraq from 2005-2006 and am currently serving a second tour in Iraq, expecting to return home this fall.  In between those tours, my duty assignment took me back to Iraq on two other occasions, as well as short trips to Kuwait and Afghanistan and multiple trips throughout the United States to train units preparing to deploy.  I also spent two months in Korea, training with units there for their mission.  But I consider myself lucky in many ways.  I am serving here with Soldiers on their fourth deployment and there are many others who have been gone more than me.

I list this time away not to bemoan my fate.  I am proud to serve and will continue to answer the nation’s call.  My children, and all military children, also answer that call.  They experience the comings and goings of their parent(s) frequently as our nation continues to fight overseas.  In the most tragic situations, they have to face the death of a parent and the reality of life without that parent from a young age.  Yet these children show resilience, strength, and character.  They continue to grow and learn and adapt.  They get ‘A’s in school and letters in athletics.  The younger children learn to read and count, or walk and talk.  They do all of these things while their parent is overseas, fighting in a war that they may not understand but know has taken their parent away.

During that time, their parent receives support from Americans too numerous to count.  Parents, spouses, brothers and sisters, friends and strangers, all provide care packages and emotional support for Soldiers.  During this month I’d ask that you think about those children who are continuing on at home.  Send them a letter, write an email, or pick up the phone and call them to let them know you are thinking about them (and don’t forget the parent who is at home with them, doing the job of two parents).  Let them know you appreciate the sacrifices they are making while their parent is overseas.  Just a few words of encouragement could be what they need to brighten their day.

Military children sacrifice every day while their parent is overseas.  They suffer through the longing for their parent to be home, to help with homework, give a ride to practice, or read them a book.  America has given tremendous, humbling support to its military during our current wars.  The month of April is the time to focus on the children they’ve left at home.

LTC Michael Clarke is an operations officer for Task Force Marne, currently deployed in northern Iraq.  He grew up in Villanova and Gladwyne, graduating from Malvern Preparatory School in 1987.  He currently resides in Richmond Hill, GA with his family.  He has deployed to Bosnia, Kosovo, and Iraq over the course of his career.  The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not reflect the official policy or position of the Department of the Army, Department of Defense, or the U.S. Government.

Editor’s Note: April is the Month Of The Military Child and upon reaching Iraq, Ben met with CPT Heather Guck, TF Marne PAO- Plans, USD-N who has sent us a series of op-ed pieces related to the special nature of military children. We are happy to reprint these articles to help everyone understand the soldier’s story a little better. Enjoy.

Military Kids, A Tremendous Blessing

I will never forget the feeling that October night as I sat down on the couch with my two sons and explained to them one last time that Daddy was going away for a long time.  My oldest son, Chase, was four years old and understood well what this meant.  He remembered the last time I had “gone over the ocean for a long time” and tears welled up in his little eyes as he gave me a hug for the last time.  Noah, who was only one at the time, knew something was happening but did not quite understand.  His mother and I understood, though, and it was so hard to take in that last hug, that last familiar walk from the living room to their bedrooms to pray with them before kissing them good-night…for a year!

As hard as that night was, I do think I have learned a lot about appreciating those little mundane moments.  Before that night, I had enjoyed countless nights just like it.  The difference is that I probably also complained about the toys lying all over the floor or about the mess under Noah’s chair or any other number of common woes that come from having children.  Bed time was never an easy task for any family, and ours’ is still no exception.  Between serving dinner, cleaning up, giving baths, reading stories, giving medicines, praying, and rocking to sleep- bed time was often the most exhausting task my wife and I conducted all day.  Redundancy has a way of making us forget how much we have in the middle of those mundane moments. 

There is a Proverb which states, “Where there are no oxen, the manger is clean, but abundant crops come by the strength of an ox (Proverbs 14:4).”  There was a time when I did not understand that verse, but my children have taught me what it means.  Where there are no children, the house may be clean, but from their lives will come tremendous blessing.  Now, having served six months in northern Iraq, I can absolutely attest to the fact that I can’t wait to get back to take in every one of those God given moments.

I am currently proudly serving as a member of the United States Division–North (USD-N) and am a part of a great team of Soldiers and leaders, all of whom have left those they love to serve this great nation.  We had the privilege of choosing our role here, but our children did not get to make that choice.  They are special because they are also making a sacrifice during this time.  The Armed Forces has set aside the month of April as the Month of the Military Child to remember them.  I want to honor them all.  They depend not only on their parents but also on their community for encouragement and upbringing.  Our community back in Richmond Hill, Georgia has been extremely supportive of our families, and I thank them for it.  As we remember these children, I also want to remember to seize each moment as if it is our last.  Let us remember to enjoy those little mundane moments that we might otherwise take for granted.

MAJ Charles Gray, is the Deputy Division Engineer for Task Force Marne, he is currently deployed in northern Iraq. Major Gray’s home of record is Spartanburg, SC and currently resides at Ft. Stewart, GA with his wife and 2 children.  The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not reflect the official policy or position of the Department of the Army, Department of Defense, or the U.S. Government.

Editor’s Note: April is the Month Of The Military Child and upon reaching Iraq, Ben met with CPT Heather Guck, TF Marne PAO- Plans, USD-N who has sent us a series of op-ed pieces related to the special nature of military children. We are happy to reprint these articles to help everyone understand the soldier’s story a little better. Enjoy.

The Forgotten Ones

There is estimated to be over 74 million kids living in the US.  A small percentage of the kids living in the US are considered military kids.  When we look at children playing on the playground we see “kids.”  What we fail to see is that kids are different in various ways, whether the difference is based on ethnicity, gender, age or experiences because they blend in and mingle with the other kids they are around. In most cases there is not much difference between a military kid and other kids.  The difference is the experiences that military kids have dealt with or are dealing with because of decisions their parents have made.  Some of the experiences are:  multiple moves, deployments, leaving friends behind and making new friends, not being close to family members for extended amounts of time and even not seeing those who they love ever again.

Military kids are better equipped to make rational decisions than most other kids.  They usually have a better sense of understanding at a very young age because of their duties as a military kid.  Military kids are exposed to other ethnicities on a great scale than compared to other kids because their parents may be stationed in other countries. Most military kids understand what it means to make sacrifices and how to deal with adversity when they need to do so.   This is what makes military kids stand out.

I have three “military kids” and I see how much being in the military affects them on a regular basis.  There are missed birthdays, Christmas holidays, Father’s Day and times when we should be together but we are not.   They have to deal with not having their daddy there on ‘Donuts for Dad Day’ or at parent teacher’s conferences.  I know it is very hard on them especially now since I am currently deployed for the second time in 3 years.  That is why I keep my kids well informed on why Daddy isn’t there and how much I really miss and love them.  But, some days they understand and other days they don’t.  They understand that their Daddy is doing what is best for them to have a safe and fulfilling life.

I only see what it means to be a military kid through my experiences with my kids.  I can only imagine some experiences other service members are going through with their kids.  Whether those experiences are good or bad this is the reality the military kids are faced with everyday.  There is no quick fix or right solution to what military kids have experienced in their life.   But, we can show them that we are very appreciative of what they are doing by making “Military Child month”  a national, state, city and community wide event during the month of April.  No one deserves it more than these young, courageous, humble, understanding individuals who I call “The Forgotten Ones.”

Thanks to all the military kids who are serving with their parents in the US and abroad.

Captain Ervin Johnson, is an Electronic Warfare Officer for Task Force Marne, currently deployed in northern Iraq.  Captain Johnson was born and raised in Hartsville, SC and currently resides at Ft. Stewart, GA with his wife and 3 children. The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not reflect the official policy or position of the Department of the Army, Department of Defense, or the U.S. Government.