Editor’s Note: April is the Month Of The Military Child and upon reaching Iraq, Ben met with CPT Heather Guck, TF Marne PAO- Plans, USD-N who has sent us a series of op-ed pieces related to the special nature of military children. We are happy to reprint these articles to help everyone understand the soldier’s story a little better. Enjoy.
Love for Country Measured by Heart Not Height
I have a family portrait on three of the four walls in my room in Iraq. A jingle bell colored by my 3-year-old and a card from my 6-year-old that says, “I love you dad very much. You are the best dad ever.” This card means a lot. She’s the one that refused to give me a farewell hug at the airport, when I left for my first deployment.
In the current operating environment, I’m fortunate to only be on my second deployment. When I compare my service to others, I recognize there are many brave men and women who’ve made sacrifices that far exceed mine. They’ve worked to secure and maintain the freedoms I enjoy, the same ones I want my children to enjoy. It’s for that reason that I serve.
My wife is my life partner and we’ll “celebrate,” or rather acknowledge our 15 year anniversary this year. She sells real estate full-time and cares for our four children, Taylor 12, Colten 10, Kennady 7 and Addison 3. She runs them to a private Christian school every morning, picks them up every afternoon and somehow ensures Taylor gets to track and Colten gets to baseball in between house showings. Since I left, the dog ate a hole in the kitchen drywall, the kids over filled the hot tub damaging the downstairs ceiling, the yard has weeds and my neighbor Dave generously cleared over 50 inches of snow from my driveway this winter.
These adult issues dominate our conversations. There’s enough time for highlights, but I don’t really know how my kids are doing inside. When I talk to them, the conversation focuses on sports, school and behavior. Just like I put up an emotional barrier, they develop coping mechanisms that help them get through the deployment.
When a Soldier deploys it affects the whole family. I don’t know the total “cost” this deployment will have on my family. Society recognizes there is a cost and many people are quick to shed a tear, shake a hand or share a smile in honor of my service. I’m grateful and will always return a warm thanks. What goes overlooked is that my wife and kids sacrifice the same valuable resource I do – time.
April is the month of the military child and I want to recognize my kids. I want my kids to know that I realize they’ve sacrificed a large portion of their young lives to support the work of maintaining America’s freedom…and I’m grateful. I want them to know that even though they stand shorter than most men and women in uniform – their love for their country is measured by their heart not their height.
In my absence, my wife continues our noble responsibility of raising four grateful, God-fearing Americans. She teaches them to honor their father’s service – a lesson my World War II veteran grandfather taught my mother, which my mother instilled in me and which I hope my children carry on.
During the few days left in April, my hope is that Americans will recognize military children and their support for Soldiers. My kids represent four of them and I am extremely grateful for their sacrifice.
Captain Tim Mills is the commander of the 135th Mobile Public Affairs Detachment, Iowa Army National Guard, currently serving at Contingency Operating Base Speicher near Tikrit, Iraq. Capt. Mills grew up in the Des Moines area and continues to raise his family there. The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not reflect the official policy or position of the Department of the Army, Department of Defense, or the U.S. Government.
